The Silver Lining – Inner Child Series Part 1

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Have you ever heard her Voice?

An artist’s work called “Love” at Burning Man in 2015 inspired me to write about our Inner Child.  Some people may be skeptical about the concept of an Inner Child but there could be no deeper truth if you have ever experienced it. Why is it some people experience miracles and connect deeply to a higher consciousness than others? Matt Khan explains
this very well.  Depending on your abilities and your own level of consciousness, where you are currently at, it determines what you will experience.  Not the other way around, where a spiritual being who practices so diligently, will automatically have higher miraculous experiences.  What you are, is what you will see and experience.

Some of the questions I had around this topic are: what would it feel like to know your inner child, hear the voice and know it is a witness to every experience of your life?  Each person has a significant lesson they choose to learn through the cycle of birth, and the people around us help us learn it by the relationships we build. Have you ever wondered why the same kind of people come into our lives? Or why we experience the same kinds of things over and over again?  We all make choices which is our free will, however most of us cannot identify the ego within and are very comfortable with a life without introspection. While being distilled in our own individuality, the Big “I” of the ego gives us a false sense of being special and unique.  Inevitability,  we feel separated in our own individuality instead of connected and when choices are made from the ego, limitations of our patterns will repeat.

Most yoga practices focus on the breath, and when this is done the mind naturally calms and you are able to fall into a relaxed state.  The space between each thought is silence and in the silence you have a chance to connect to a place of oneness and peace. When you have experienced this once, the point of bliss and connection becomes a part of you, you want to experience again and again.  Suddenly you realize there is more to my body, mind and reality of everyday life, and the quest to find out more begins.  However, it can only begin through silence of the mind. So, practice is the key.  As your views about life change, your choices change, and therefore your actions, words, habits, behaviors and experiences will also change.  All beliefs are tested so the “I” can be right all the time. The ego puts you through many predicaments, ready to fight, I am here to stay!  However, the connection to the place of truth is so powerful and the ego knows that, so there is a lot of fear of the unknown.  Seeing your own ego through the eyes of love can be a challenge.  All old beliefs, preconceptions and limitations have to be overcome.  Then space has to be created for new experiences with a greater understanding of oneness. Are you ready to see everyone from the eyes of truth with love?

“Love” Burning Man 2015 by, Alexandr Milovlove at burning man

In my early teens and twenties, maybe even before then, I could hear this voice inside but never paid attention to it. Until one day, right before I was about to get on the freeway, I heard her say “don’t go, Simi please don’t get on the freeway” I literally freaked out!! I was so young, only 23yrs old and I had no idea why this voice was saying this. I immediately called my older sister but I didn’t say why, I just thought If I call her everything will be okay.  I honestly had no idea what was happening, who was speaking to me, and how did she know my name?  She sounded pure, like a child with a very sweet voice.  However, it still made me panic.  Why shouldn’t I get on the freeway? What was so bad about it? I mean I drive everyday. I was actually on my way to a beauty salon to get my eyebrows done because my sister’s sister-in-law was getting married.  My mom happened to be in town for the wedding too. The voice was coming from inside me and if I was to put a location on it, it would be at the center of my heart.  However, my mind or my ego decided I was just being negative and I would go about my errands.  I don’t think I ever told anyone about this because I myself thought it was crazy.

However, what was about to happen was either going to end my life or leave me with a tragic experience full of fear.  Within two minuets of getting on the freeway, a white truck hit my car and I flew 5 lanes over the freeway.  My car landed upside down, and I was left hanging from my seatbelt.  There was so much glass which had shattered into splinters that had flown into the air.  The freeway, of course, had moving traffic but everything suddenly stopped.  Four men pulled me out of my window and one man who reached to get me out of the car was bleeding on his knees, the glass had cut him. He was worried the car was going to blow up.  They lifted me up, two men on either side of my shoulders, and two on either side of my feet.  It was surreal because I thought I was floating.  As they laid me down in the middle of the freeway, many people got out of their cars, called 911 and were ready to help. In addition to the four men, a lady was holding my hand and an Indian man, who happened to be a surgeon, began to check for internal bleeding. I could see the Summit which is now Joel Osteen’s Lakewood Church.  Soon after, the ambulance came and so on. At the time I wore glasses and they were no longer there and neither were my shoes. I did see my life flash before my eyes all the happy moments, like a flickering screen, 1 second shots… one after the other and at that moment I decided to stay here in this world.  Sometimes, I wonder why I didn’t just leave but there is only one reason – that is to experience more LOVE!

A layer of skin was cut badly on my hand and there was glass in my nose.  I was severely whiplashed and I could not move for about 6 weeks but other than that I was totally fine. I’d had several tests done on my brain and heart to make sure everything was okay. I also had a feeling of being invincible till reality set in. Sometimes I think about what if no
one had stopped to pull me out.  My Grandmother from London had called several times, she’d had a reoccurring dream of me for 3 days, where I was being taken away in an ambulance. Seeing this dream repeatedly had gotten her worried, and out of shock, my mom did not know how to tell her.

One thing changed significantly. My life became full of fear, I was no longer the girl I used to be “full of courage” and it has taken 15yrs to overcome.  As soon as I recovered from the accident I moved to California and started a new life.  The Sun was always shining, I was so happy and even started driving again.  However, when I moved back to Houston I was faced with that fear again.  Time passed by and I gradually started to forget but I had never quite dealt with the ripples of memory stuck in the fascia of my body. Ahlea Khadro, whom I wrote about in “Loving yourself to great Health” taught us how our cells have memory and how these ripples can get stuck.  My experience was remarkable as I discovered how to heal myself through connection and release.

The Masters at Dhan Yoga are divine in every sense of the word.  They have dedicated their lives to becoming masters of their practice and have the ability to help and heal many people.  One in particular, his name is Master Chung Suk, and when he was visiting Houston he asked me to meet with him randomly one day.  In Broken English he asked me “what troubles you?”  I said “I don’t know but I just can’t drive and every time I try I have to deal with this fear and I’m stuck because my job requires me to drive all around town, sometimes I’m driving 2hrs a day.” “I feel trapped; I wonder why I survived and I don’t know how to help myself.”  His response was “Everything is wonderful, everything is happy, I can help you.” I’m thinking how is this wonderful and happy, I mean really?  Now, this Master was very special!! He knew everything before I spoke, actually most of them do.  He took me through a technique called EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique).  He asked me to visualize the most fearful point of the accident; so I began to relive it!!! At this point I’m crying for surrender, crying for release. All the while, he was tapping with his finger on the side of my wrist, collar bone, forehead, knee, and asked me to repeat “I accept all the fear I have form this accident” over again and again. After each round he asked me “what level is your fear now?”  We did about ten rounds, maybe more and I have absolutely no clue what happened, but I went from feeling intense to calm. After I walked out, I drove home thinking my hand hurts and I looked down, it was bleeding a little.

Something had changed, so I began to test myself. Every time I got in my car that week I asked myself “Are you afraid?”  And there was no fear.  No FEAR. Wow No FEAR!!! So a mere fifteen minuets with this Master helped me where I had been suffering for 15yrs. How can this be?  Miracles, miracles, miracles!!! Well, this Master went back to Sedona after a couple of months and I never got to thank him.  I bumped into him this year when I was in Sedona and he was also just in Houston for a training, so I made sure to go meet with him.   I never judged myself for not listening to my inner voice. I was an innocent young girl who knew nothing about spirituality, nothing about the inner child, but this picture of “Love” at burning man reminded me of my experience and hearing my “Inner Voice” so I decided to write about it. As I started to write I couldn’t stop these past two months so there are actually three parts to the Inner Child series.  I look forward to sharing my next piece with you soon.

thank you for reading and loving me.

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Gift of Love ~ Cosmic Mother

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A Mother’s love is so precious and gentle as she loves her child ~ Unconditional love flows from her effortlessly.  Divinity is within her ~ The earth in her womb, the source of all light at her crown, rivers ripple through her locks and there was a special glow emanating from her, one that only Prakriti embraces.  As you connect to the earth and all of its beauty, one day, you may meet her.  

~ I felt and heard the love of our Cosmic Mother say “I give you the gift of love and as your third eye opens you will know me.”  We experience divinity through connecting, where there is a knowing of being present, even if we don’t completely understand.  My experience of sitting up on Mago Castle, In Sedona, eye level in front of Bell Rock(Purusha) and Cathedral Rock(Prakriti), was a moment of blissful beauty deeply connecting to Mother Earth.  I wondered, is this real? But as I sit here writing, on my way home, tears slowly fall down now that I’m feeling slightly torn away.  I remember this moment which came through in complete silence and now realize I may have taken it for granted.  Why do we take unconditional love for granted when the moments are so precious? Especially, as a mother keeps giving and giving, and her love never runs out.  Just as the Cosmic Mother loves us as her child, how beautiful is it that God made it so that in our experience a female can also bear her own child and love it in the same way? Divine Mother recreating her own creation.  Only a mother can know her love of creation.  The moments when all is relinquished for the thirst of love, the moments when her smile fades away all worries, and caresses our faces like a gentle breeze in the air, all is here for us to experience.  I may have not known this experience was so precious but the feeling was one that cannot be denied.  We are always and forever so completely loved and it makes me cry just a little as I contemplate on it.

~ As I have chosen to share through my writing,  readers please embrace your thoughts with love in your hearts.  When I came back from Sedona, my very first trip last year, I saw everything differently.  Something had changed and I didn’t know what but my perceptions were not me.  I cried for three days, I was sad, very sad, for the earth, but still did not know why this made me cry.  Collectively, I realized we are taking advantage of Mother Nature.  After that, I saw everything as the Observer, It was quite surreal.  I could see everyone around me entertaining each other’s personalities while being in my body, but my awareness expanded outside of it.  I was watching everything with no likes, no dislikes, no attachment, no detachment but with a simple ease and unchanging steadiness.  My mind and heart were one.  I definitely called this a state of true bliss.  Not a blissful high like we can feel in an elevated emotion.  Just simply being present.  I could also see a Halo around my face ~ golden bright light, so bright that it expanded all around and I would stop in my tracks getting ready in the morning and wonder “is this real?”  The glow captured me or maybe I was captivated by it!  I remember going for yoga that night and a few people that were there could also see it.  They were speechless and hugged me.  Now, I can see a halo around many ~ Although this may seem out there for some, it is something only the experience will leave you without questions.  There have been many miracles and many will continue.

~ I like Rumi’s Quote “What you seek, is seeking you.” Even if you don’t know what it is you are seeking, we are in an Intentional Universe ~ Divine Love is the Cosmic Mother, who teaches us the heart to heart connection.  The energy that permeates within her is in us, and so we belong to her!!  Look at the Synchronicity ~ As this experience of mine with Divine Cosmic Mother is sent out around Mother’s Day, we also await for the arrival of Sri Karunamayi Amma (Divine Mother) in Houston this weekend.  No matter where you are, divinity is present, giving her gift of love to all.

With Gratitude,

Happy Mother’s Day!

The Secret~

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As I sit here, “Being In the Moment” I contemplate on the powerful voice which speaks with grandeur.  I drift into this voice, a little girl who wants to express a profound knowing. “I found the secret to happiness, dad!” and he says “Please share with us the Secret to Happiness” “It’s very simple! Acceptance!!! Acceptance of everything that is.”  After that I said nothing.  I was complete.  I was full of this knowing.

Two days later I find myself clicking on a link ~ Whatever Arises, Love That ~ and the video was about Acceptance.  Brought about through Synchronicity, Matt Khan, another fellow Empath spoke so eloquently that it moved me to tears.  I was aware that he was speaking about Universal truths and everything I’ve ever wanted to learn about was laid out right before me.  If we know that our thoughts create our realities then there is nothing else but a universal acceptance of every atom which has come into existence for our experience.

The connection to my faith began at a young age as a child.  Eighteen years of surgeries went by and I had never asked my parents why is this so and never complained.  Actually, it was the time I spent most with my Inner Heart.  Simultaneously, as I was suffering with so much pain, quite the opposite feeling would arise, and all I wanted to do was dance.  As I danced within my heart, it became an expression of living life fully and being my own hero.  I always knew a part of me was so much wiser, full of courage and drew strength from this sacred place.  It was the purest state of being; divine moments where my recovery was a space of no separation from the universal truth of love that we are.  It is now that I realize only the identity of the body is what separates us.  However, our body which is the temple of our heart, needs love the most.

In my twenties, I lived from a place of abundance almost all the time; there has always been a deep connection to a voice residing in my heart where I had everything I ever needed.  Living life spontaneously and simply “Being the Moment” was natural for me.  All I wanted to do was laugh with innocence and have a genuine excitement to experience everything.  I vividly remember being the girl who was always dancing in her car at a red light and giggling at absolutely nothing.  I embraced life knowing there is so much to live for and I’m grateful to be here with a deep appreciation for the breath of life! And everything simply manifested for me.  I remember small examples where things would be free, without asking or knowing how, like the drop of a hat, just simply automatic.  My friends around me wondered why.  I had no idea myself.  On the contrary, it was pointed out to me often and I thought this was normal for everyone.  Even now I experience this but from a much wiser place and shyly smile with a deeper knowing.  Several times a year, my mom traveled from the other side of the world to the United States, she would spend a week with me and often say “How’s my happy girl?” There was a sense of freedom for my happiness which did not rely on any outcome.  The wiser part of me can express this into words now.  Following the path of least resistance has always made life fun, easy and effortless.  All my experiences flowed with abundance due to the law of attraction.  My faith kept me grounded and my wish to give back became stronger, but I had no clue how to.  Ten years later, I found avenues through my faith to start giving.  And I can happily say, God made it so.  As the source of my inspiration “Only from Him” that my desire to give began and “Only to Him” that it goes.

Many people are in search for Happiness and because it is already a natural state of “Being” it cannot be found in the external world.  Overstimulated senses caused by fluctuations of the mind get in the way of your natural state deviating you from Happiness.  So, the less you have in life that overstimulates you and the more you enjoy simple things (like breathing in nature), the higher your vibration of Happiness becomes till you are living in this space most of the time.  Meditation can get you here quickly and that is why more and more people are starting to recognize its value.  The truth is, we are never without anything and always, forever complete.

About two years ago, I had an opportunity to meditate with one of my sister’s professors who is highly gifted.  When I opened my eyes, I asked why she was crying and she said it was such a beautiful moment and she was so happy to share it with me.  Quite frankly, I wished I could see what she could but everyone has their own unique special gift.  I told her about the Big orange card that I bought and how it was the only one the store had in that size which came out to $9 (the number of divinity).  My wish was for over 200 children from all the projects I was involved in, to decorate and sign it.  Although I had never mailed the card to Swami’s Ashram in Prashanti Nilyam, India, years later in this moment divinity was revealed. “I AM the card, I Am the child, I Am the Service, I Am.”  I said to her someone had told me to write my name in the center of this card in big letters.  I had not thought of myself or writing my name.  What a way to honor you, she said!  How often do we honor the divinity that resides within us?  The more connected we feel, the more we understand our value and the value of others.  By doing what we love, we bring about moments of Synchronicity, where divinity shares its presence with us.  As we raise our awareness to a higher vibration, these moments seem to happen often through the law of attraction.  When you live in this Awareness, you are Awake!

One of my friends shared a beautiful video that I love and listen to as I start my day, so I’ll post it below.

Romance at Sunrise

On such a beautiful Sedona morning~ we woke up early on Valentine’s Day and hiked up to Mission’s Place which is considered sacred land.   My roommate and I had just one macaroon each to get us started as we met up with our group.  It was dark and quiet as we headed to our destination with a slight chill in the air.  In silence, we thought about what do we really want out of this life, what is our purpose and set forth these intentions to gain clarity.  The sky was blackish grey just like the color of gravel beneath us.  The Red Rocks in the distance also looked rather black.  Quietly, we waited as observers for the Sun to rise which seemed to be a very long time; all we had were our thoughts to keep us company in this black silence.  There was so much anticipation inside, when would it come out and what would it look like?  We were told to keep our gaze very steady, as within an instant we could miss it or the sun would be too bright for our eyes.  I have so much adoration for the sun and how it has taught me the ultimate truth about humility and gratitude with my own personal experiences of prayer.  So this precious moment we were waiting for had so much depth for me and seemed to feel quite romantic.  It was almost as if my heart danced in eagerness, what would this next moment of a glimpse immersed in nature be like? Eyes wide open we waited and waited.  Very, very slowly, I saw a tiny shimmery ball in the distance light up the whole sky.  At first it looked like the whitest beaming light and then turned into a silvery golden halo that expanded itself into the sky.  Time seemed to stop or maybe what stopped was our thoughts.  All I know is that I could not take my eyes off it.  The brighter and bigger the Sun got, the more expanded and connected I felt.  It filled my heart completely.  I prayed as we sat there in gratitude for the unconditional love that was shining through this solar magnificence.  How many times has the Sun risen and how many times have we stopped to acknowledge its unconditional presence and grace?  The famous poet Hafiz said “Even after all this time, the sun never says to the earth you owe me, just think what a love like that can do, it lights up the whole world.”  Hafiz must have been romantic too.  We get to witness this “Dance of Romance” with nature every single day.  Isn’t life as simple as that?  And isn’t love like this so uncomplicated? Valentine’s day in Sedona has brought new meaning of love for life in all of its beauty.  For me, the truth of truths is to be the witness in the dark that sees the light.

With Gratitude
Love, Me